My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
