it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
