okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
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