we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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