...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Text me some of your sweat
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
