dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
love makes seman taste better
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
