you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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