I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Terrible idea I love it
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
