Where did you get a picture of my penis
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
