At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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