So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
