And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Im part way to drunk.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
