She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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