you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
