So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
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Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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