I hate your face
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize