According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
