Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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