So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
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i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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