I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
