# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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