If i come over, it means nothing
420 ftw
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
