Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
