..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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