I think i sorta joined a cult last night
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
