it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
