We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
