You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
