that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
