I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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