do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
