so explain again why im purple
no
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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