Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize