hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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