Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
