How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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