dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
