That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
