living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I will be naked everywhere
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
