Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
