You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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