i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
