i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
someone owes me an orgasm
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
