Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
