im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
