his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
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I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!