barbara walters just said penis...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.