I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.