Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
