You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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