I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
