wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
