She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Randomize
