Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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