Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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