my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
