you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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