You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
