Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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