3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
