ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
