Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
