Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?