you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms