and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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