you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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