would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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