JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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