sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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