and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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